Pity the poor new-millennium mom. She’s caught between wanting to make mealtime fun and trying to feed her kids a healthy diet to avoid childhood obesity.

Maybe that’s what drives people to try and healthify junk food. Or worse.

At the RiffTrax blog, they’ve created a roundup of disgusting looking—but healthy!—Halloween treats. While RiffTrax sees only pathos in a cookie sheet of cut-up veggies arranged to look like a skeleton, the up-to-date mom sees a clever toddler party snack that won’t have the other moms hag-riding her for feeding their kids sugar. And a sandwich made with crispy-fried yams cut up to look like bats? That’s the perfect Halloween lunch if I’ve ever seen one. Still, I have to draw the line at the vegan mummy dogs. That shit is just weird.

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