Recently an email went around my office to the effect of, “To the person who has been drinking my milk: Do you know how expensive that shiznit is these days? Feel free to leave some cash on my desk. Thanks.”
If you find yourself exercising similar passive-aggressive energies around your workplace, you may want to consider an ingenious antitheft device recently posted on Boing Boing. It’s a sandwich bag that’s printed with green splotches that look like mold. Place your lunch food in it, and to the thieving eye it looks like it’s past stealing date. The bag’s not in mass production, but if you email the inventor, Sherwood Forlee, he’ll let you know when it becomes available.
Before using the mold bag, you might want to let the office do-gooder who throws away spoiled food in on your secret. Otherwise you may find yourself emailing, “To the person who threw away my moldy sandwich: I hope you get sick and die. Have a great day!”