Smirnoff Premium Malt Mixed Drinks

Smirnoff Premium Malt Mixed Drinks

I Paid: $6.99 for six 11.2-ounce bottles (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 3 stars

Marketing: 3 stars

With all this business of bros icing bros—and the implicit conclusion that having to drink a Smirnoff Ice is pretty much the worst thing that can happen to a dude other than being markered while passed out—it’s not surprising that Smirnoff would try to spiff up its image.

Coincidentally (or not) there have been a lot of ads recently touting the hoity-toity new incarnation of Smirnoff Ice, Smirnoff Premium Malt Mixed Drinks. With their hefty price tag ($7 for a six-pack) and fancy labels, they promise a higher level of malt beverage enjoyment … which, admittedly, is not promising a lot. Still, you have to acknowledge the effort.

With a great deal of skepticism, I sampled the Cranberry & Lime and Blueberry & Lemonade varieties. Both were, well, not too terrible. Cranberry & Lime had decent flavor but a bit of a cough-syrupy thing going on—it could have used more bite from the cranberries and more carbonation. Blueberry & Lemonade was better: There was a real blueberry nose to the stuff and a good balance of carbonation and sweetness.

These are not drinks for seasoned adults or even graduate students. That said, young adults (of legal age only, of course) who drink would do well to turn to these Premium Malt Mixed Drinks, which may help ease the long transition from Boone’s Farm to actual alcoholic beverages.

See more articles