Tired of picking snails off your garden cauliflower? The TuttiFoodie site has the answer for you, in a funny post sent out in its newsletter this week titled “Escargone.” It’s the story of a vegan farmer turned snail-raiser.

Every year, when John planted our backyard vegetable garden, he found himself crushing an entire harvest’s worth of snails underfoot. It was obviously a waste—of life, of energy, and of perfectly good nutrition. So what if—John hazarded to ask me on a foggy May day, beat-up garden shoes smudged with freshly tilled soil—we ate them instead?

There are step-by-step instructions on how to gather and prep the slimy buggers before eating (a cleansing diet of cornmeal and water should do the trick). Then it’s all garlic butter and full bellies.

If you want to read about another intrepid man’s quest for backyard escargot, the ever-charming Matt Armendariz of Mattbites has successfully walked down that garden path.

Hey, can’t get much more local than your own backyard.

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