Sad, but true. At Arlington, Virginia’s Murky Coffee, one customer’s espresso order almost resulted in a punch to his privates. The Consumerist blog has all the details, but here’s the abridged version:

Jeff Simmermon orders a triple shot of espresso on ice. Murky barista says, “I’m sorry, we can’t serve iced espresso here. It’s against our policy.” Then, Simmermon orders a triple shot of espresso with the ice on the side. The barista retrieves the order but says, “Hey man. What you’re about to do … that’s really, really Not Okay.”

The enraged Simmermon scrawls “FUCK YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS COFFEE POLICY” on a dollar bill and leaves it in the tip jar. (Classy, right?) Then he goes home and blogs about the whole fiasco, claiming that “the only way I’m ever coming back to Murky Coffee in Arlington is if I’m carrying matches and a can of kerosene.”

The coffee shop owner retaliates via a blog post of his own. He explains that “Pouring espresso over ice creates unpleasantly acrid flavors,” and calls out Simmermon:

To Mr. Simmermon, you overplayed your hand with your vulgar tip-schtick. While I certainly won’t bemoan you your right to free-speech, I have to respond to you in your own dialect: F*@k you, Jeff Simmermon. Considering your public threat of arson, you’ll understand when I say that if you ever show your face at my shop, I’ll punch you in your dick.

Might be a good idea for these fellas to take a little caffeine break, no?

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