If you’ve already taken unholy delight in anticipating the hostile reviews of the Pop-Tarts restaurant in Times Square (and reading some, thanks to our mention of the fracas in this week’s Crib Sheet), well, here’s your payoff: a roundup of the various negative reviews (including a snark-laden slideshow from Serious Eats) via the Daily Beast.

It should be said, however, that training critical firepower on Pop-Tarts World of Times Square is like using an IED to take out a trained squirrel riding a miniature tricycle—the squirrel dies, and nobody learns anything from it. And yes, it’s a little sad.

Two main objections to the target at hand: First, the theme ingredient is Pop-Tarts. Ferran Adrià himself would be challenged to come up with a whole menu of edible food revolving around what are essentially frosted mailing envelopes filled with industrial-grade jam. He’d do it, sure, but it would tax him, and he might have to close El Bulli again.

Second, it’s located in Times Square, home to T.G.I. Friday’s, Red Lobster, and who knows what other middlebrow feedbags for incompetent tourists. Times Square is not New York City. It’s representative of New York the same way Disneyland is representative of the American West or North Korea is representative of Asia in general.

So, bravo to the critics who had the courage to take Pop-Tarts down a peg, but, seriously, Serious Eats. Hunt some bigger game.

(Coming up later this month: I review the Taco Bell Cantina tacos for Supertaster! After that … Is the new Denny’s cheese stick sandwich all it’s cracked up to be?)

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