Pity the unsuspecting rube who falls for the seductive lure of a set of sexy knives. Chad Ward—author of the forthcoming book An Edge in the Kitchen: The Ultimate Guide to Kitchen Knives—has a funny and informative piece on Leite’s Culinaria designed to keep you from falling for the wrong sort of knife. It’s scenes like this that you want to avoid:

You see them in the store. They are beautiful, with their sexy handles all lined up just so. You glance around and then surreptitiously fondle them, damning the safety device that keeps you from sliding the gleaming blade from the block. The salesman sidles up and in a throaty whisper says, ‘It comes with the sharpening steel and the mango slicer.’ You swoon.

It’s all downhill from there: a quickie commitment, a brief honeymoon phase, and a lifetime of regret. Don’t let it be you.

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