I Paid: $2.79 for six 1.3-ounce caramel bars (prices may vary by region)
Except, no, you’re not. A real Cinnabon is what it is: an overly sweet, gooey, fatty mess that can (emphasis on can) be an emotional crutch during times of crisis. The Cinnabon Bar, when heated, does approximate some of the cinnamon flavor and an element of the sweetness, but quite frankly, it goes down far too easily. There’s no unctuous moistness. There are no wads of dough to stuff into one’s mouth, which, in turn, beg for big swallows of hot coffee. Take away most of the egregious, offensive, unhealthy aspects that make a Cinnabon the American naughty delight that is, and you’re left with a cinnamon-flavored snack bar of average quality.
That the bar is best microwaved is a neat twist, making it a new crossbreed between a Pop-Tart and a candy bar—there may yet be future bars that put this morally dubious breakthrough to better use.