I Paid: $2.19 for a 6.6-ounce bag (prices may vary by region)
Taste: 3 stars
Marketing: 1 stars
So, what? These freaking cookies are supposed to help magically transport us to a canoe trip in the Canadian Boundary Waters? Why is Gilbert the Goldfish the only fish who is trademarked? What’s so extreme about Xtreme, and does it have anything to do with the fact that he looks a bit like he’s tweaking on meth? So many questions, so little time. Or interest.
As for the cookies: They do not, in fact, magically transport you to a wilderness setting. They are dry. The marshmallow fish are the sort of desiccated marshmallows that are featured prominently in Lucky Charms. “Stack[ing] up all 3 flavors,” as the bag advises, does not create a moment of profound gastronomic insight—these are mildly flavored, well-balanced, nondescript mass-marketed cookies, and there aren’t a lot of radically different tastes and textures going on that really benefit from complicated interplay. That said, like Oreos, these cookies turn into a pleasantly sweet paste that compels you to stuff another handful into your mouth.