So, let’s hypothetically say that you, a food-loving American, are insufficiently depressed about the massive BP oil spill that’s devastating the Gulf of Mexico. Great news for you, then: an exquisitely detailed Times-Picayune story about how chefs in New Orleans are preparing for the possible extinction of their way of life.

“‘This could be something that could change Louisiana for 10 to 20 years,’ [restaurateur Adolfo] Garcia said. ‘It’s like that morning when you discover a relative has cancer and they’ve been given six months to live. What do you do? You hang in with them as long as you can, but at some point you know you’re going to be burying them.'”

The partial demise of the oyster po’ boy is just the oil-slicked tip of the iceberg; the story goes on to describe the prospect of Commander’s Palace changing its longstanding policy of not serving fish harvested from further than 100 miles away, damage to the Gulf shrimp industry, and the waning availability of Louisiana blue crab.

In related news, oyster prices are going up countrywide, new safety inspections are being implemented to deal with the spill’s impact, and Louisiana’s governor has predicted an up to $1.5 billion cumulative impact on the state’s commercial fishing industry.

And in unrelated but considerably happier news, here’s a purse that looks like a Lipton teabag.

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