Big props to the (almost invariably) with-it Slate, which is now bringing us breaking cheese-related commentary in the form of an Ad Report Card on the new Cabot commercial.

Cabot Creamery, for those not fortunate enough to have sampled its justifiably famous cheddar, is a Vermont cheesemaking megaforce, manufacturing products that register highly in terms of quantity (tons) and quality (excellent). Its new ad features Puerto Rican character actor Luis Guzmán (Magnolia; Traffic; Walker, Texas Ranger), who enthuses about his latest role, Guy Eating Cabot Cheese.

Slate artfully deconstructs the spot’s oddball charm, reveals the general demographics of cheese buying (women) and eating (men), and uncorks the fact that Guzmán works as a gentleman farmer near Cabot, Vermont, when he isn’t lighting up fleeting patches of the silver screen. An added bonus: He actually loves the hell out of Cabot’s tasty product in real life.

The piece also references the amazing animated dancing cheese commercial that single-handedly redeemed the 1980s as a decade. Someone send a telegram to Bob Woodward. Now that’s reporting.

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