Slashfood has been highlighting holiday cocktails all week long, so there’s a good chance the writers were a little loopy when they recommended the Mistletoe and Holly Cocktail, originally featured in Fine Living.

Christmastime or not, cranberry juice, crème de cacao, peppermint schnapps, heavy cream, and matcha powder just don’t belong in the same glass. Especially if we’re talking about a hot drink, with green-dusted cream dripping creepily into a warm cranberry-peppermint solution. Seriously, gag me with a friggin’ jingle bell. I understand the red-and-green theme they’re going for, but how about serving your holiday guests classic martinis with pimiento-stuffed olives? How about poinsettia cocktails garnished with mint sprigs? Clearly, there are classier ways to get your red-and-green on.

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