Thanksgiving is to serious cooks what New Year’s Eve is to serious drunks: amateur hour.

If you’re already sick of the turkey-day hype, the Seattle Times has your antidote: an antiholiday screed with suggestions for alternatives.

Writer Anne Valdespino maintains that for hard-core cooks, the unvarying Thanksgiving routine of roast turkey/mashed potatoes/pumpkin pie is something to be dreaded. She cures her own Thanksgiving blues with an “alterna-bird” party; one year her turkey was Mexican-spiced and served with salsa, tortillas, and margaritas; another it was tandoori-flavored.

Her other suggestions include getting a ready-made supermarket bird, skipping the dinner to serve food at a shelter, and the “Slacker Thanksgiving”:

Throw in the dish towel. Don’t even get dressed. Have your buddies come over in their pajamas. Serve TV dinners. Open some box wine, or pool all the money you save to splurge on a couple bottles of champagne.

CHOW has a suggestion that will make it even easier for slackers: Just assign everything out to friends!

See more articles