In the category of things no one was asking for, the Porsche Design Group (a subsidiary of the car company) and a German furniture firm have designed a kitchen for a much-neglected gender: men. To quote the managing director of the furniture firm, Poggenpohl, the kitchen’s “sleek and functional design language specifically addresses male customers.” If there’s anything women hate, of course, it’s something sleek and functional.

The kitchen is all aluminum, glass, and brushed wood, and it does look like a man’s kitchen—if the man were a Teutonic design executive with an evil lair and an aesthetic penchant for laboratories. I don’t know if it would be good for preparing 30-minute meals, but it looks like it’d be great for making meth.

The Internet makes my head hurt.

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