The leaves are trickling down from the trees, and you know what that means: The food glossies are putting out their annual bacchanal of Thanksgiving issues.

Food & Wine has three separate and lovely sounding menus, one influenced by India with dishes like toasted-coconut basmati rice and Indian-spiced turkey breast; one highly traditional but easy to make; and one deluxe, with roasted capon with fig-and-prosciutto stuffing standing in for turkey.

Now, the F&W editor, looking at these fab menus, could have just let them stand on their own merits, but instead decided to impose a theme, and that theme is: Thanksgiving through your ages. Yes, the Indian menu gets assigned to people in their 20s, because they’re, like, so groovy and “irreverent.” The traditional but simple-to-make menu goes to people in their 40s, because, well, with your 10 kids running around underfoot, there’s no way you have time for anything more complex. And the luxurious menu goes to empty-nesters in their 60s.

What do you eat when you’re in your 30s or 50s? Food & Wine gives us no guidance. Perhaps next year the publication could print menu suggestions for Thanksgiving in Your 80s, with dishes like creamed corn, instant mashed potatoes, and other nursing-home favorites.

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