Like many people, Lee Klein of the Miami New Times is under the impression that Labor Day is a fall holiday, despite the fact that it’s three weeks until the equinox, but no matter. Klein has some suggestions for a new, seasonally appropriate menu to spice up the Labor Day holiday.

Why grill hamburgers when you can toast American labor with a true workingman’s food: baloney (not, please note, bologna)? For an upper-crust touch, cut the crusts off the white bread and serve the baloney sandwiches open-faced. Sides should include Brussels sprouts tossed on the grill as well as the buckwheat-groats-and-bow-tie-pasta dish kasha varnishkes:

If any of your guests comment to the effect that they would have preferred good old-fashioned potato salad, accuse them, in a loud voice, of being anti-semitic. This should serve to stifle any further dissent.

And for dessert? Well nothing says Labor Day like an apple fritter the size of your head.

What do you think should go on a modern Labor Daymenu?

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