Mercury must be going retrograde right now in the restaurant business, because everything just seems to be going wrong.

Last week, in Antioch, California, a toddler got a surprise in his sippy cup: a margarita. Although he was later rushed to the hospital after he grew drowsy and started vomiting, he is doing just fine.

The culprit? Apple juice and bulk margaritas stored in identical plastic jugs. You’d think Applebee’s would have learned its lesson after serving a 5-year-old a Long Island Iced Tea just last year. And P.S.: premade cocktails? Yuck.

Meanwhile, in North Carolina, a tragic outbreak of E. coli took an 86-year-old woman’s life. And the restaurant the outbreak was traced to? Health officials are closing it down because a goat was reportedly slaughtered there sometime in the weeks before the diners got sick. It was killed for food, not for religious or cultural reasons.

The goat was slaughtered between May 11 and May 20, [Rowan County Health Director Leonard] Wood said. Restaurant customers got sick between May 26 and June 3.

Hopefully, the dates quoted are due to a discrepancy in people’s memories, and not because it actually took nine days to slaughter that goat.

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