Best With a Chill

You want energy? You want your eyeballs bulging out like an extra flung out of the Mars dome in Total Recall? Not only can you get sheer jittery wakefulness in a can, you can choose from scores of drinks carefully aimed at particular market segments: Are you a decadent wannabe Rockstar? An exhausted New Ager? A drug addict on the wagon?

But why go up when you can go down? That’s the question Slashfood’s Jonathan M. Forester asks in a post touting the Blue Cow Relaxation Drink, a beverage intended to soothe the savage breast with a mix of chamomile, hops, lemon balm, passion flower, hawthorne berry, and something I’ve never heard of called Suntheanine, a man-made version of an amino acid found in green tea that’s supposed to make you feel mellow.

You know, I have all the energy and stress I can handle in my life: I have a toddler. What I would really like is something to bring me down after a whole day of scraping Play-Doh off the hardwood floors and listening to a child screeching. And though Blue Cow may taste medicine-y (the company warns that the drink is “formulated for effectiveness not taste”), it sounds pretty darned appealing. Anyone up for a nice cool Blue Cow–and-bourbon?

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