Let Them Eat Meatcake

The thing about being a food blogger is that you wake up in the morning (or afternoon, depending on your lifestyle) to find your inbox stuffed with the craziest food-related items. When I saw the subject line “meatcake,” I really didn’t know what I was expecting as I clicked through.

The first image made me go, “Oh. That kind of ‘meatcake.’ Just a themed cake with a drawing of a steak on it.” I was only slightly underwhelmed because the raspberry coulis and vanilla buttercream looked beautifully tempting no matter what the theme. Then I scrolled down. And down.

This was not just a cake with a picture of meat frosted on it. This was a MEAT cake. Inside, the “cake” is meatloaf, the bright glaze I took to be raspberry is actually ketchup, and the “buttercream” is boxed mashed potato!

Black Widow Bakery takes you through the step-by-step construction of a meaty groom’s cake for a co-worker, all the way from the baking of the meatloaf layers in cake pans to the final touch of the steak painted atop the completed cake, which, she admits, “didn’t come out too bad, though there is a definite uterusy quality to it.” There totally is, but who cares? This is brilliant!

Black Widow Bakery has an exhaustive FAQ—a testament to the attention her meatcake has received—where she acknowledges that Martha Stewart also did a birthday meatloaf. The Black Widow swears she found out about Martha’s rendition only after some kind, loving, and thoroughly DELIGHTFUL reader shot her a nasty email, announcing, “Martha’s was cuter,” complete with a link. I sort of hope that the Black Widow responded, “Well, of course it is—I didn’t get the chance to pay a nice long visit to Camp Cupcake beforehand.” Frankly, Martha’s inclusion of decorative cooked peas and carrots makes me retch.

Black Widow Bakery’s protein pastry chef recommends serving this cake hot—she suggests zapping individual slices in the microwave—because in her opinion, “Cold meatloaf only belongs in sandwiches.” I will respectfully disagree with that—cold meatloaf, in slices, chunks, with or without bread—is the comfort food of the gods. But only if it’s my mother’s meatloaf.

Elsewhere on the Black Widow Bakery site, you can see more of her pastry creations, including a Colon Cake, and there’s an entire page devoted to meatcakes created around the Web.

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