Panting to make sure the sheen on the most recent Top Chef remains unsullied by anything other than his on-air antics, Food & Wine’s blog wants to assure us—a month after reports of Hall’s profligate postwin spending emerged—that aside from a $200 Moncler vest bought on sale, reports of Hall’s excessive bling are as fake as Bravo’s editing.

Kate Krader, senior features editor at Food & Wine, gives us the rundown on the accessories Hall has supposedly recently purchased:

Moncler black vest: $375
Pink shoe laces for white Nikes: $4
Louis Vuitton duffel bag: $1,100
Louis Vuitton white belt with candy-colored logo: $350
Patek Philippe Aquanaut Luce watch in pure white (with diamonds): $11,950

And compares it to what was detailed to her by Ilan “Honest Abe” Hall himself:

Moncler black vest: $200 (on sale)
Pink shoe laces for white Nikes: $4
“Louis Vuitton” duffel bag (fake): $40
“Louis Vuitton” white belt with candy-colored logo (fake): $11
“Chanel” unisex watch with “diamonds” (fake): $35 (hey, all those luxury watches look the same)

You gotta love how Krader is careful to mention that the “Chanel” watch is of the unisex variety. Especially since comments on Amuse-Biatch outed the Patek Philippe Aquanaut Luce as strictly female.

Maybe I’m a complete cynic. Maybe last season’s Top Chef antics made me distrustful of practically every person involved. Or maybe I just really can’t abide Ilan Hall, but … yeah, I’m going to need to see some receipts.

Let’s see, what other Ilan messes can Food & Wine clean up? That his rampant and slightly homophobic verbal diarrhea concerning Marcel is actually perpetrated by his (dun, dun, DUN!) evil twin?

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

See more articles