It’s unclear whether March boasts more obscure food-related “holidays” (i.e. National Crown Roast of Pork Day) than any other month, but the timing of its celebrations is indisputably the funniest.

For example, it’s National Frozen Food Month, as designated by Ronald Reagan in 1984 (and this Tuesday is National Frozen Food Day, which Ronnie supposedly also had a hand in). You can find great promotions on all kinds of delicious microwaveable foods-encased-in-other-foods, from Hot Pockets to pizza Pouches. Except if you’re celebrating National Nutrition Month, in which case you’ll probably want to stick to the bag-o-peas end of the freezer aisle.

Maybe feeding your kids low-fat, whole-grain frozen waffles is a perfect way to mark the occasion on Tuesday—except that this is National School Breakfast Week, so you’ll probably want to send them off to the cafeteria for their morning frozen-food needs. Just make sure they order the cereal on Wednesday (Cereal Day, natch).

National Peanut Month might be a bit trickier—it’s perhaps a hard one for some folks to get into after the whole salmonella thing (you have to wonder how Peanut Butter Lovers’ Day went over on March 1). Of course, this kind of worrying is certainly in the spirit of Agricultural Safety Awareness Program Week, held this year from March 4-10.

Luckily all that fretting will be over in time to enjoy Spinach Festival Day and Something on a Stick Day at the end of the month!

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