Before you stuff your face with mint juleps and guacamole for this weekend’s Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo, you’ll want to pay close attention to the latest and greatest in grocery store offerings. During this week’s Chub Chub Chowdown segment on the Taylor Strecker Show, we sampled a hodgepodge of  items, from crackers and ranch dressing to energy drinks and new Dr. Pepper, to determine which get priority on your weekly “must buy” list. The results may surprise you. Scroll down for all of our candid thoughts and reactions!

Trufflin Black Truffle Ranch Dressing

Let’s just say that this ranch dressing forced Taylor and me to burst into Usher’s “Oh My God.” It is, perhaps, one of the best things we’ve sampled on the show. So creamy, so truffley, so decadent…yum, yum, yum. My only gripe is that it is damn near impossible to get this stuff out of its pretty jar. I literally had to use the handle of a fork to stab it repeatedly. Still worth it, though. I’ll be pouring this on everything.

Hu Grain-Free Crackers (Everything)

We’re really into this grain-free cracker trend and Hu more than delivers with its latest offering, featuring a blend of almonds, cassava, and coconut flours. The Everything flavor also mirrors an Everything bagel, which is something we can always get behind. Snack on these if you’re dieting and on the verge of breaking it or wanting to break someone’s neck.

Hint Sparkling Water (Ginger)

The ginger essence is very, very subtle, but it’s an essence we can appreciate. And why’s that? Ginger tastes great on everything. Plus, it touts amazing health benefits that aid digestion and your immune system. Good on you, Hint, for always thinking outside of the box with your flavors. We dig this one.

Town House FlipSides (Garlic Herb)

Eh. This one was a serious letdown. We’re not quite sure why a cracker has to be half-pretzel. Is it a texture play? It’s all being pulverized by your teeth into a bolus anyway. Also, if throwing in a pretzel is a thing, these are ironically missing some serious salt. And where’s the garlic?! Italians will be underwhelmed.

Uptime Energy Drink (Blood Orange)

Rob was a huge fan of the flavor, but Taylor and I thought this was just okay. It takes a lot for an energy drink to stand out among its competition, though anything with sucralose will ultimately taste like, well, sucralose. Unfortunately, these weren’t an exception.

Dr. Pepper (Dark Berry)

It’s the first new flavor in five years and Dr. Pepper goes with DARK BERRY? Are you kidding me? This is essentially dark cherry, with cherry already being a standard Dr. Pepper flavor. Needless to say, we’re extremely disappointed with you, Dr. Pepper. Come back to us when you throw in jalapeño, kiwi, or something a little more exciting.

See more articles