She’s back! The new season of Netflix’s “Queer Eye” premieres March 15th, meaning you better start prepping couch-friendly, delicious snacks that taste better with your tears and will last you several hours. Preaching the bible of ‘Yas Kween’ and self-love, the Fab Five, all experts in, well, life, has a particular knack for making fans cry multiple times throughout an episode, breaking down cultural barriers and making people realize, “You’re right Tan, I do matter and I DO deserve this French Tuck.”
Below, we’ve got your emotionally supportive snack list covered—controversial Antoni recipe moment included. Just remember, “You’re strong, you’re a Kelly Clarkson song, you got this.”
You literally cannot mention the “Queer Eye” reboot and food without mentioning the recipe otherwise known as Greek Yogurt and Guac-gate 2018. (ICYMI: Cooking expert Antoni Porowski advised putting delicious Greek yogurt into guac to snazz it up and the world lost their freaking minds, inspiring too many clap back articles about Antoni’s cooking skills to count.) He uses avocado and a bunch of fresh cilantro in nearly every recipe no matter whose kitchen he’s in, so this classic guac recipe will quench your cravings as you sob your way through each person having their own self-discovery moment post-makeover. Get our Classic Guacamole recipe.
Antoni in the Kitchen, $21.05 on Amazon
Pre-order Antoni's first cookbook—you'll have to wait til September to get it and see what he does to guac, though.
These five men are constantly serving the tea, sipping the tea and spilling the tea, hunni. The guys are all about living your truth and knowing that the truth (and some good product) will set you free, so these light and healthy tea sandwiches are a must. Plus, you can use the leftover cucumbers to de-puff your eyes while you dream of having JVN’s skin and self-confidence. #selfcare Get our Cucumber, Hummus and Lemon Tea Sandwiches recipe.
Delicious hot, cheesy dips should be legally required in order to watch anything that’s going to make you emotionally unstable for 45 minutes. The “Queer Eye” men are all about taking something simple and elevating it a bit, like this artichoke dip recipe that uses Gruyere instead of a more classic cheddar. They do this time and time again, whether it’s via Bobby’s clean lines only interior design magic or Tan’s fancy sneaker suggestions. Get our Cheesy Artichoke Dip recipe.
It’s no secret all of the “Queer Eye” guys are so sexy they’re basically on fire. But do we all remember when culture guy Karamo nicknamed the hottest firefighter on the planet ‘Superman’ in the final episode of season 1? What better way to pay homage the Fab Five and breakout fireman character Micah than with a heaping bag of the hottest snack around. Just make sure to lick your fingers BEFORE wiping those tears. Also, add some slices of avocado for good measure.
Cheetos Flaming Hot Crunchy Cheese Snacks, 28 bags for $42.92 on Amazon
Get enough for your whole squad to snack on.
The first two seasons of “Queer Eye” take place in Georgia, which means we must lace in a peach somewhere here. I have a feeling you’re not going to make a peach cobbler to binge watch a show (here’s a Peach Cobbler recipe just in case) and it’s scientifically proven to be impossible to enjoy a weepy binge-watching session without some kind of gummy candy. So Trolli’s peach gummy rings it is. With each chew, you can remember how the Fab Five represented the LGBTQ community with pride as they fell headfirst into somewhat socially conservative Georgia, often battling demons of their own.
Trolli Peachie O's Sour Gummy Candy, 5 pounds for $11.39 on Amazon
Stock up on your sweet-tart treats too.
French tuck is probably the most used phrase of this entire franchise, which is why we need French something. This recipe is giving me ‘I’m my own Seamless’ vibes and I’m loving it. “Queer Eye” is nothing if not learning to allow moderate indulgence for the better of yourself and, dare we say it, humanity. Not that these fries are going to better you, but you can certainly appreciate yourself AND your soft whimpering while watching what already appears to be an epic season. Get our French Fries recipe.
It’s a cliche for a reason. Just like peacocks are unofficial emotional support animals, chocolate is an unofficial emotional support food. Plus, chocolate is the perfect crying-friendly food, second only to caramel — salted caramel, ever heard of it? If there’s one snack that will get you through episode after episode of gut-wrenching makeovers, it’s your old friend Hershey’s. Not convinced? Here, look at this smokin’ pic of Antoni eating a Toblerone.
One of the sweetest episodes of the entire “Queer Eye” reboot so far was the first episode of Season 1, “You Can’t Fix Ugly.” The Fab Five took the inventor of the ‘Redneck Margarita’ (Mountain Dew and tequila…*shivers*) and turned him into a class act gentleman. Teaching straight and gay, women and men to embrace their inner beautiful fabulousness and live their truth is what these guys do best and also what makes us cry…Every. Single. Time. We’ll take this marg with our own salty tears, please. Get our Perfect Margarita recipe.
Queer Eye: Love Yourself. Love Your Life, $16.99 on Amazon
Get your Fab Five fix even when your power's out.
Fab Tips from The Fab Five
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Header image courtesy of Netflix