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Does red and pink décor make you want to crawl back into bed and hide until February 15th? Would you rather receive a cup of strong black coffee than a sparkly box of heart-shaped chocolates? Does the thought of getting a cutesy stuffed animal make you gag? You’re not alone.

In Other Dark Food News Gifts for the Goth GourmetAlthough most people experience many different types of fulfilling relationships in their lives, Valentine’s Day’s focus on the very mushy (and often expensive) aspects of romantic love can be overwhelming.  In South Korea, singles eschew the gooey trends by getting together and eating bowls of jjajang myeon, a comforting bowl of noodles smothered in black bean paste. We think they’ve got the right idea, so we’re proposing a whole menu of all-black foods. Make a statement with these dark dishes for a fun and mischievous twist on mainstream saccharine sweets. Whether you’re showing appreciation for your gal pals, throwing a badass anti-Valentine’s Day party, or sharing a quiet night at home with your partner, cook any or all of these inky delicacies to celebrate the season in your own rebellious way.

Black Garlic Compound Butter

Black Garlic North America

Black garlic is garlic that has gone through a month-long fermentation process. This makes the garlic soft, gives it a sweeter taste, and doubles the antioxidant content. No one will want to kiss you after starting your meal with this. Get the Black Garlic Compound Butter recipe

Organic WHOLE Black Garlic, $24.69 for 1 pound on Amazon

Garlic as black as your soul, and twice as delicious.
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Black Olive Tapenade

This bread topper is filled with pitted black olives, anchovies, and capers. Share your salty feelings about love while indulging in this briny appetizer. Get the Black Olive Tapenade recipe.

Jjajang Myeon (Noodles in Black Bean Sauce)

Chef Julie Yoon

Although Koreans don’t typically eat this dish until “Black Day,” celebrated exactly two months after Valentine’s Day on April 14th, you can indulge in it now. Raid the international section of your grocery store for Korean black bean paste, mirin, and jjajangmyeon noodles. Get the Jjajang Myeon (Noodles in Black Bean Sauce) recipe.

Paldo Jjajangmen Chajang Noodle with Black Bean Sauce (16 Pack), $30.75 on Amazon

Vegan friendly and no MSG in this ready-in-seconds noodle and black bean sauce dish.
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Squid Ink Pasta with Shrimp & Cherry Tomatoes

Platings and Pairings

If you prefer an Italian noodle dish, squid ink pasta is a classic gloomy choice. You can pretend the cherry tomatoes in this recipe are little hearts—watch them burst as they cook for a poetic metaphor. Get the Squid Ink Pasta with Shrimp & Cherry Tomatoes recipe.

Black Squid Ink Spaghetti, $10.99 on Amazon

Colored with squid ink and imported from Italy to make your anti-Valentine dream come true.
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Chocolate Blackout Cake

Life Made Simple Bakes

Just because you don’t want a heart-shaped box of chocolates doesn’t mean you can’t still appreciate a good chocolate cake. This cake is made extra dark by adding high-quality cocoa powder and ground espresso. Get the Chocolate Blackout Cake recipe.

Salted Black Licorice

Pinch and Swirl

This Dutch delicacy is multi-faceted, all at once sweet, salty, and undeniably dark and brooding. Make some of your own to give to friends instead of typical store-bought Valentine’s Day cards. Get the Salted Black Licorice recipe.

Black Latte

Everything’s Peachy

One of the trendiest new beverages, black lattes use activated charcoal to get their inky hue. Drink it with gusto and walk around proudly with a black milk moustache. (Or try a dark beer for the occasion; from porters to stouts to IPAs, anyone can find a beer and taste to match their mood.) Get the Black Latte recipe.

Visit our Valentine’s Day 2019 Gift Guide headquarters for even more great ideas. And check out our Valentine’s Day giveaway on Instagram (three lucky winners will get lots of goodies from Hotel Chocolat)!

All featured products are curated independently by our editors. When you buy something through our retail links, we may receive a commission. For more great hand-picked products, check out the Chowhound Shop

Header image courtesy of Platings and Pairings

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