When some people go through bad break-ups, they end up drowning their sorrows in wine. Artist and photographer Michael James Schneider took a different approach. He not only drank a box of white and box of red, but he then took the boxes to create a whole new partner for himself. Meet Franz, the Box Wine Boyfriend, aptly named after the drink brand responsible for most of his body—Franzia.

He’s the most adorable (albeit, inanimate) object of affection that you’ll ever have. Based on Schneider’s hilarious photo series on social media, his new creation helps with cooking and even goes food shopping with him. Bet that’s more than your last ex ever did! Take that, Johnny!

Naturally he’s amassed a sizable internet following with this silly send-up of picture-perfect relationships. And everyone wants to know where their Instagram adventures will go next.

If you’re wondering how you too can achieve blissful, wine box robot coupledom, listen up. To make his man, Schneider used a metal framework in the shape of a person that he found at a Halloween store (because we all have one of those lying around). He then adorned it with a ton of wine boxes and super glue, making it a rare time when alcohol and industrial grade adhesives combined forces for non-destructive purposes!

Michal James Schneider

Aww, look, they’re even enjoying breakfast in bed. Watch out for the cat! (You don’t want him to crush your cardboard legs.) But how long can this bliss last? Only time will tell if Franz will get replaced with a real man, preferably one who isn’t made of up of 12 percent alcohol.

Header image courtesy of Michael James Schneider.

Jessica is an Associate Editor at Chowhound. Follow her on Twitter @volume_knob for updates on snacks and cats.
See more articles