Ranch dressing is a universally adored and a distinctly American creation. According to a national survey, over 140 million citizens consumed the dressing in the last year alone, making it far and away the nation’s most beloved salad topper. (Got to negate the health benefits of kale and carrots, somehow!) Our reputation is so extreme that in Iceland, “Cooler Ranch” flavored Doritos are actually called “Cool American Doritos,” giving us a well-needed boost to our reputation abroad. Hey, at least we get chips right!

Hidden Valley, one of the nation’s foremost purveyors of all things cool and creamy, is no stranger to tapping into our obsession with the herbed, mayo-based sauce. The company has previously offered many creative ways to consume the dressing, including a decadent ranch fountain, (a worthwhile addition to any wedding’s cocktail, or for whatever other occasion calls for classy your veggie-dipping). And now they may have topped their past masterpiece with the invention of a ranch keg.

That’s right, for the low price of $50 you can own five liters of ranch preloaded into a massive metal barrel. It’s enough ranch to last you through the Super Bowl, at least! Also, rest-assured, the keg’s coating meets FDA approval for consumption and will keep the ranch tasting fresh. At least your frat parties will meet basic safety standards (health, uh, not so much). Keg stands, anyone?

It’s also worth noting that Hidden Valley’s web store offers two full pages of merch, in case you haven’t started holiday shopping for all the ranch lovers in your life. Some are far more practical than a keg (the passive-aggressive socks pictured above) and other less so (the aforementioned fountain). We’re also big fans of the “Peace Love Ranch” t-shirt which is sure to make a nice addition for any unhealthy hippie’s wardrobe.

Hidden Valley

Header image courtesy Hidden Valley.

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