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Watermelon cocktails are perfect for summer—bright, light, sweet, and refreshing, they can go from juicy to slushy, and they’re all dangerously delicious. But if the idea of eating your alcohol sounds more amazing than terrifying, you’ve probably wondered how to achieve what seems like the impossible: a drunken watermelon.

Lucky for you, the impossible is possible with just a few supplies and a few easy steps. Soon enough, you’ll be well on your way to bringing the coolest item to a summer picnic (other than yourself, of course).

What You’ll Need: 

  • 1 large watermelon
  • 1 16 ounce bottle of alcohol (your choice, but typically vodka or tequila)
  • large bowl
  • cutting board
  • sharp knife
  • small spoon
  • funnel (optional)

1. Start by placing your watermelon on top of a cutting board and carefully cutting a circular hole at the top. You’ll want to ensure that the hole is slightly wider than the head of your alcohol bottle or funnel.

2. Tear off the rind and dig into the hole with your spoon. Remove at least four to five inches of flesh. Enjoy as an early treat.

3. Place the watermelon in a large bowl with the hole at the top.

4. Insert the bottle directly into the hole and allow the alcohol to drain into the watermelon. It may not drain entirely, in which case you can either leave your bottle in the hole or save the rest of the booze for the future. If you are using a funnel, pour the alcohol into it slowly until the contents of the bottle are empty (or the watermelon can’t handle more liquid).

5. Transfer the watermelon and bowl to the fridge. Store for at least 24 hours prior to serving. The longer the alcohol sits, the tastier it will be.

6. Once you’re ready to consume, simply slice your watermelon into half-inch thick segments or bite-sized pieces. Nosh responsibly.

Alternative Version: Hollow out the whole watermelon, fill it with a refreshing, batch-friendly cocktail (like a Watermelon Margarita, or a beer-and-watermelon Summer Hoedown, if you want to stay on theme), and add a tap for dispensing drinks.

Final Touch Watermelon Keg Tapping Kit, $21.99 on Amazon

As one reviewer says, what a time to be alive.
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(Do note that the above model is marked “back in stock on July 2;” if that’s cutting it too close, you can pay a little more for the KeggerMelon tap.)

Related Reading: How & Why To Grill Watermelon This Summer

Related Video: How to Make a No-Waste Watermelon Gazpacho with Pickled Watermelon Rind


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