The line between what we put in our bodies and what we put on our bodies continues to be muddied.

Witness chocolate perfume, as pimped in this month’s Intermezzo magazine. According to a little blurb therein, Boston-based chocolatier Temper Chocolates has joined forces with smelly San Francisco perfumer Yosh Han.

Some of you might run screaming from the room, bellowing, “Hey, you got your perfume in my chocolate!” Others will surely insist, “You got your chocolate in my perfume!” However, the fact remains that three kinds of chocolate perfume will be emanating soon from a body near you. Intermezzo describes the three varieties:

01’s inspiration is a chocolate-dipped, ginger-encrusted Asian pear; 02 fuses the mystery of jasmine with the sumptuousness of dark chocolate; 03 is reminiscent of sensual Bordeaux with cocoa undertones.

“Encrusted”? “Mystery”? “Sensual”? Are they perfumes or Danielle Steele novels?

Next up is the caffeinated bar of soap on the ever-fabulous and fascinating Think Geek, the e-retail site that sells all you ever need to dress, think, play, and live like a geek. The idea of caffeinated soap calls to mind those old Zest commercials where just ripping open a bar of blue soap is enough to send the Average Joe or Jill into a sudsy frenzy of work-happy wakefulness.

Think Geek always has a sense of humor about their products, which has the effect of really making you believe them. Check out their description of ShowerShock:

Scented with peppermint oil and infused with caffeine anhydrous, each bar of Shower Shock contains approximately 12 servings/showers per 4 ounce bar with 200 milligrams of caffeine per serving. No, we’re not kidding and no you don’t eat it. The caffeine is absorbed through the skin.

Now I have to go on a run, so I’m off to rub a Mr. Goodbar under my armpits.

See more articles