Let's say it is your birthday, and your family wants to know when/where you'll come-in to go to dinner--yet they have been complaining a lot about money. Now you could just bring them dinner or pay for the entire dinner (I have no problem doing that), but you know they won't allow that and dinner for five or six will get expensive. On top of that, you would need to drive to them--at least an hour each way, plus traffic--so you explain that "No, thank you. I don't need to celebrate this year." In terms of financing the dinner and the exhausting travel, I just think it sounds easier to not celebrate. They have argued that this is selfish. Am I selfish to not want the dinner?