My wife & I and our 2 sons who are 8 and 10 recently spent 6 days in SF, here is where we went, and thanks tom all of you for your suggestions.
We stayed in Pacific Heights, so many of the places we went were walking distance:
Pizzeria Delfina - had some pizzas and mozerella in carozza, and a few other apps as well, nice spot, relaxed for the kids. Waitstaff were uneven though, taking dishes away without asking when there was sauce for crust dipping
Tacoliciuos - Loud young crowd, good mole tacos, nice rib app, and negra modelo on tap, whats not to like. had a wait about 30 minutes but we had fun.
Out the Door - went to the one on the edge of Japantown, really nice space, sat at the bar. got pork buns, sweet sticky rice, pho and noodles, our kids love this food and try chop sticks everytime
State Bird Provisions - Got in line at 5:30 and were told there would be a table at 7. recieved a text and was seated just before 7. nice space, great concept and very friendly waitstaff. really enjoyed ourselves. some hits and misses on the tray items, but the duck liver mousse was outstanding, beets and steak tar tar were great too. pancakes were fun. not as expensive as one might think and lots of fun.
Zuni cafe - Had lunch there and had a few pizzas, salad and a lamb dish, limited menu but they went off the menu for kids pasta which was nice, good deserts too. love the space as well
The 5th floor - Had a great time there. lounge type of seating with great food and a really welcoming fun staff. had oysters, charcutierre, pastas, a burger and nice deserts all small plates and shared, nice wine and cocktails too.
La mar - Met friends there for drinks and some apps. good happy hour, had some empanadas, chips and other apps and a real good moscow mule (or 2). real nice staff who totally enjoyed the kids.
SPQR - Had a kind of wierd experience there, had a reservation, but it was not written down, not feeling the love, but waited and had some real nice pastas, not very kid friendly and the waitstaff was pretty aggresive. the food was great but not a super expierience.
A -16 - had to wait a little here, very crowded. The bartender entertained the kids with his "moves", had a pizza and some pastas and also felt a little hustled her as well.
over all the trip was great, and the city is beatiful. thanks to all who gave us suggestions.