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Restaurants & Bars

[SEA] Alexandria's

Evan | Mar 7, 2005 04:31 AM

I, my fiancee, and some family members stopped by Alexandria's the other night. I'd read some mixed reviews of the place, so I didn't set my expectations too high, but I was hoping to find something or other that was tasty.

After being seated, it took roughly 30 minutes and a word with a manager for us to get water glasses filled and drink orders taken. Our waitress arrived just in time; we were getting crabby and were a couple minutes away from walking out.

Drink orders placed, we settled back and would have engaged in conversation, were it not for the medley of smooth jazz favorites thundering from the ceiling over our heads. Some hounds may recall the running gag with the elevator music in the movie "Airplane!" That was pretty much what our dinner was like. In the words of the immortal Lloyd Bridges, "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."

When our drinks arrived, they were strong, large and tasty, which helped us endure the series of crimes being committed against helpless saxophones. Good as the drinks were, they ended up being in the $8-12 range, which strikes me as a bit pricey even for Belltown.

Our appetizer (Soul Rolls, spring rolls filled with collards, red beans and rice) was genuinely tasty and unusual, if a bit greasy.

I ordered fried chicken for $17 and forked out the two dollars extra for white meat only. $19 got me one half breast and two wings, which left me wondering what I would have gotten stuck with if I hadn't spent the extra two bucks--a thigh and a gizzard? The chicken wasn't bad, but wasn't anything special either. I'd ordered it assuming that they'd either be able to do it really simply and well, or they'd have some interesting and unusual take on it. Neither assumption was correct. Sides of mashed potatoes and black-eyed peas were tasty, but were plated with all the panache of a Shari's at 4 AM, slopped into nondescript white bowls that perched atop my plate.

My fiance ordered green beans. Perhaps these beans had been happy once, pushing up through the soil and basking in the sun, gamely photosynthesizing away. By the time they reached us, however, all joy had been boiled right out of them and flaccidity had set in. They were only "green" beans by the loosest of legal definitions.

An average peach cobbler and a relatively crappy pecan pie completed the meal.

I suppose I don't really need to sum up my opinion of this place, but I might as well as long as I've got a good head of steam going. Generally I'm not that critical or picky, and if there are one or two problems with a meal I'm inclined to focus on the high points. In this case, however, the positive aspects were few and far between.

I probably would have gone easier on it if the food was priced to fit the quality, i.e. about 50% of how it's currently priced. Alexandria's bills itself as upscale, but the only thing upscale about it is the bill. I can't imagine that I'll ever go back.

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