General Discussion

assorted vents & rants


More from General Discussion

General Discussion

assorted vents & rants

Pierre Dufresne | | Apr 30, 2000 09:25 PM

Pardon my lumping of multiple subjects under one post.

Milk Shakes:

Does anyplace in this country still serve the
creamy, pourable kind? All I ever get these days
when I order a shake is soft-serve ice cream in
a tall paper cup with a useless straw, the straw
being a vestigial tool left over from the days
when a shake was thin enough to actually be drawn
through it.

This is all McDonald's fault. When they introduced
their 'thick shakes' it seems like everyone
followed suit, flavor be damned! So now we have
shakes suitable for spackle and pothole repair but
unsuitable for noisy slurping. Grumble.

French Fries:

Vermonters please correct me -- is it Al's Famous
French Fries on the road to Burlington's airport?
What is the name of that busy diner? Anyway it
serves the tastiest fries of my admittedly scarce
national samplings. Not thin and crispy but rather
that standard 50's diner size, non-crisp but very
potato-ey with that rare natural sweetness that's
best highlighted with a little vinegar and salt.

The first choice would have been the fries served
long ago at the Montreal Botanical Garden's
cafeteria of my youth.

Smoked Meat:

Speaking of Montreal, is there another US or
Canadian city with a Smoked Meat tradition?
(I imagine Toronto would, since it has so many
transplanted Montrealers). For those unfamiliar
with smoked meat, it's like pastrami but jucier,
less salty, more tender, and infused with an aro-
matic peppercorn (but not 'hot') flavor.

Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food Product:

Any deli that serves me 'American Cheese' when
I asked for cheddar gets blacklisted. Any preparer
who doesn't know the difference I label a hick.
This chemical relative of white glue (both casein-
based) should be banned.

Mormon Coffee:

A real problem here in the intermountain west.
Not intended as a slight to Latter Day Saints,
this could go under the more generic heading of
'Food Cooked By People Who Don't Eat The Stuff'.

Instead of the coffee ordered, I've received on
different occasions tinted cups of hot water,
tinted cups of hot water with a creosote taste,
residual coffee tar, and the worst one, coffee with
an overwhelming old dishrag flavor, probably from
a thermos that had never been properly cleaned
or rinsed.


Ah the crusty, substantial loaves that can be
found in the major cities of North-Eastern North
America. Horrors the pathetic soft doughy under-
baked lumps to be found here in Utah. The only
loaves that have any texture here are those baked
by specialty sourdough bakers -- AND I HATE

I want yeasty full-flavored loaves that have enough
fight to loosen my molars when I bite into them.
Is this too much to ask?

Kilauea Lodge, Volcano, Hawaii:

(Not to be confused with the nearby Volcano Lodge
inside Hawaiian Volcanos National Park.)
I'm addicted to the place and the food. Never mind
the warm relaxing ambiance, the quality is
relentless and the prices mid-range; = high quality
to price ratio. I'd have epiphanies just dipping
their sunflower seed bread into their soups.

(I believe it was the) Four Palms Restaurant at Wailea
SomethingOrOther Resort, Kihei, Maui:

On the other hand, this place serves okay food at
premium prices = not so good quality/price ratio.
The cranberry juice was fake, the rock shrimp over
angel hair pasta oily-heavy, the crab cakes
appetizer bland and also deep-fried-heavy.
Somewhat redeemed by wonderful coffee and desert
but blown again by a $50 tab (one person, not
including tip which was $10 cause service WAS

Frito Lays:

Expanding their hegemony over the snack aisle.
Squeezing out the little local brands. This
wouldn't be so bad except that so many of their
products seem to be twice as salty as they need
to be. I'm always rubbing and blowing salt off
of their chips, um, when I buy their stuff in a
moment of weakness.


No, not the drink. I'd love to hit the 'tab' key
to indent, instead of typing four spaces each time.
I keep forgetting that and have to rescue my
cursor from the next window. What a pain. Gripe
Gripe Gripe.


Not as bad as the pain I suffered when realizing that
this editor clipped out my four spaces and mapped the
backspace key to UNDO CHANGES to boot! Nothing will
make me see red like Someone Else's Software!

Pierre Dufresne,
Computer Weenie
With Picky Tastes