So maybe this is a battle that our military can actually win. Jamie Oliver, Ann Cooper, and the Center for Ecoliteracy have been pounding it into heads for years, to no avail, that the overprocessed slop (a.k.a. school lunches) served to kids is actually bad for them. But a group of retired military officers called Mission Readiness—heretofore dedicated to keeping kids out of jail and on the path to military greatness—are jumping on the stop-the-slop bandwagon, now that they've realized that the sad state of school lunches is actually a threat to national security. The group is lobbying to pass a bill to improve school lunches. Will the strong arm of the military finally be able to change what hippies and Englishmen have been warning us about for years?
Too Fat to Fight
Is eating a few KFC Double Downs a day the modern alternative to fleeing to Canada to escape the draft? The military has come to the really-not-new conclusion that America's children are fat. They're not just a little pudgy but "too fat to fight." Stats say 27 percent of youngsters in the crucial military recruitment age (17 to 24 years old) cannot pass the military weight standards, and obesity is ironically leading to shrinkage of the American armed forces.